One country
He has heard every argument for splitting up and he has the receipts. A house divided still cannot stand, and he would prefer we not re-run the experiment.
With malice toward none. With charity for all.
America's most trusted president is back on the ballot. Yes, that one. Abraham Lincoln is running for President in 2028, and he would like your email address.
Meet Abe
Born in a one-room cabin in Kentucky. Read every book within a day's walk. Split rails, ran a store badly, taught himself the law, lost more elections than he won, and then held the country together through the worst thing that ever happened to it.
He has been out of office for a while. He has not been out of practice.
- Experience
- One term and forty-two days as President. Eight years in the Illinois House. One term in Congress. Twenty-three years at the bar, mostly on horseback.
- Education
- Roughly twelve months of formal schooling, total. Self-taught in law, surveying, Euclid, and the entire King James Bible. Still reads.
- Height
- Six foot four. Six foot eleven with the hat. The campaign has been asked not to lead with this and has declined.
- Age
- Two hundred and nineteen. The Constitution sets a minimum. It is silent on a maximum, and so are we.
Where he stands
Every plank on this platform is something he has already done once. He'd like to point out that this is unusual.
Honest government
The nickname was not a branding exercise. Plain accounts, plain language, and a president who answers the question that was actually asked.
Build big things
He signed the transcontinental railroad into law in the middle of a war. Rail, broadband, the grid, water. The man likes a project that outlives him.
Public land stays public
In 1864 he set Yosemite aside for the people before "national park" was a phrase. He intends to keep the gates open and the entry fee reasonable.
Science and schools
Founded the National Academy of Sciences and the land-grant university system in the same two-year stretch. Research gets funded. Tuition gets discussed honestly.
Elections that happen
Held a national election in 1864 while the country was at war with itself. Nobody had to wonder whether it would take place. Nobody should.
“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.”
On the trail
He travels by rail where possible and on foot where not. Arrival times are estimates.
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Campaign launch, Springfield, Illinois
Old State Capitol. He has given a speech here before. It went fine.
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Town hall, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Remarks will be brief. About two minutes. Please hold applause, it throws off the count.
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Whistle stop, Xenia, Ohio
The inaugural train last stopped here on February 13, 1861. He feels a follow-up is overdue.
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Debate, Ottawa, Illinois
Three hours, outdoors, no moderator. Opponent to be confirmed. Opponent has been warned.
Fair questions
We get these a lot. He gets them more.
Is he actually eligible?
Natural-born citizen: yes, Kentucky, 1809. At least thirty-five: comfortably. Fourteen years a resident: yes. The Twenty-second Amendment says no one may be elected President more than twice, and he has been elected twice. Our legal team is reviewing it. Abe is on the legal team.
Is this real?
The candidate is real. The campaign is a thought experiment about what we'd actually want from a president, run with a straight face and a tall hat. Nothing here collects money, and nothing here is affiliated with any living person's campaign.
What does he think about the issue I care about?
He thinks you should read what he actually wrote. Most of it is shorter than you'd expect, and the Library of Congress has it for free. If it isn't in there, he'd rather say "I don't know yet" than guess.
Who's the running mate?
Under review. He has gone through two so far and the second one did not go well. He is taking his time.
Can I volunteer?
Yes. Door-knocking, phone banking, and rail-splitting, in order of demand. Bring water. Debates run three hours and he takes the full time.
Get involved
A campaign is a lot of people doing small things on purpose. Pick one.
Chip in
Abe doesn't take corporate PAC money. He isn't sure what a PAC is, and we've decided not to tell him.